Family Building 101: 3 Quick Tips To Avoiding The Child Support System

1) Wait.

Of course, when I say wait, I’m not referring to refraining from having sex altogether. I just simply mean waiting to have a child. Just because you meet someone, and sparks fly, doesn’t mean you were meant to have kids together. Slow down, get to know your partner. If your relationship gets serious, start the conversation about your future together and your ideas about parenting, making sure to be as detailed as possible, you don’t want any surprises later. 

Typically, taking this approach requires each person to be at a certain level of maturity, so if things don’t work, cool heads will prevail and the child support system won’t be needed to sort out your differences.


2) Stay Under One Roof.

Even though this seems like the logical thing to do, in our community, it rarely happens. This is what makes #1 so important. Having a child with someone before taking the necessary time to get to know them can cause a lot of grief in the long run. Try Living with your partner before you have children together. This will provide you with an excellent opportunity to discover exactly who they are and help determine if there’s a future for the relationship. 

If everything goes well, this will create a strong friendship based on common interest and understanding so when and if a child is conceived, there’s already a strong bond established. There are no guarantees, but this will help decrease the likeliness of a break-up. And if there’s no break-up, there won’t be a need to involve the department of child support in your affairs.


3) Man up.

As a man, I must admit. Sometimes we don’t step up to the plate. At the end of the day, we must put ourselves in a position to be the best provider we can be. If the situation with your partner doesn’t work out, you should be able to help out 50/50 or assume full responsibility for the child if necessary. If your partner is fair-minded and you’ve proven yourself to be trustworthy coming to an understanding that doesn’t involve the child support system should be easy. 

But remember, we have rights too. If she is attempting to create unreasonable terms or even worst, using your child as a pawn. Fight back and do what’s best for your child. Just remember your sh** must be together in order for this to work. 


These are just a few quick ideas we should think about. Of course, there is no foolproof method for preventing child support from being the outcome of your situation but this is definitely a great place to start!

1 thought on “Family Building 101: 3 Quick Tips To Avoiding The Child Support System

  1. Nice in theory, in practice you can’t predict how the situation can turn out. I married my high school sweetheart after we lived together before marriage. We waited 5 years and bought a house together before having kids. All the right moves right? Once we were married and had a family, she cared more about the house, the kids and keeping up with the neighbors than she did about her husband. We went to counseling and I took my vows very seriously trying to save my marriage. I put her first but she didn’t see me or my needs as a priority so I divorced her. She went crazy during and after the process. Lawsuits, denied visitation, allegations of abuse, and of course many many thousands in child support. Been fighting 15 years and its cost me a fortune! I fight to stay active in my kids’ lives and it’s more important than the money but the system is against fathers and I pay way too much, even had to pay after I got custody of our oldest. I’ve followed the tips and 10 times more but the truth is even if you do everything right, it can all go wrong!

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