Growing up in an economically deprived family presents many challenges for a young man. If you combine that with the fact that he may live in a home that doesn’t have a positive male influence available, his mother is left to wear many hats. She becomes not only responsible for being the primary financial provider but also responsible for helping him transition into manhood.
This is what makes our position as fathers so important. All of this must be considered before we procreate. Whether or not we raise our children in a two-parent home shouldn’t be optional, it’s a necessity. Everything that comes with two people living under the same roof exhibiting healthy relationship practices will help shape your child into a well-rounded individual that doesn’t seek validation from external sources.
When a child doesn’t have this balance, he is undoubtedly influenced by what may be going on in his community. So, if he witnesses his mother struggling financially but he witnesses the dudes in his neighborhood make, what appears to be, easy money from selling drugs, the temptation might be too strong to resist. Granted, just because a young man’s father isn’t present in the home doesn’t mean he is automatically going to turn to selling drugs to make money.
There are plenty of melanated young men out there that make it a point not to be victims of their circumstances and rise above, what may be perceived as a negative situation. Even with that being the case, it’s still our job as adults to put our children in the best position to be successful. So, in closing, if you want to help your son avoid the streets try to construct an environment based on structure, love, and understanding with his mother before he arrives.
If your relationship doesn’t work out, get joint custody of your child so half their time will be spent in your presence. Of course, there is no fool proof plan to prevent things from happening, but you never know, taking the necessary time to prepare may make all the difference in the world.