It’s our job as fathers’ to put ourselves in the best position possible to take care of our children. Whether or not you’re in a relationship with the women doesn’t matter. Creating a consistent presence in your child’s life is a must. Now, if you make the conscious decision not be involved, you must accept everything that comes with that, including being called a deadbeat father. However, if you’re a man that has done everything in your power to be the best father possible and still get called a deadbeat father, that’s not fair. So, we have put together a quick list of 3 ways to know if you’re a deadbeat father. Of course, every situation is different, but we are just attempting to give you some food for thought!!
I put this one first for a reason. As fathers, it is imperative that we spend as much time as possible with our children. If you’re in a situation where you don’t live with your kids creating a consistent time schedule is necessary. I recommend doing everything in your power to get joint custody so your child can be with you half the time. At the end of the day, consistency is key. Now, if you’re a father that has never attempted to create that consistency or seen the value in making sure you were around your kids, you might be a deadbeat.
2. Emotional Support
The only way to create a relationship with your child is by spending time with them…. period. There’s really no way around this. Just because your father and son doesn’t mean a solid relationship will just form. It takes work. Now, if there’s no relationship then typically there isn’t any trust. If a child doesn’t trust you, they won’t open up to you. Children grow quickly and during this process a lot of changes take place. You want to put yourself in a position to help guide your children as they navigate through life, the only way you can do that is if you’re around.
3. Financial Support
I made sure to add this one last because money isn’t everything but it’s definitely a necessity. At the end of the day, it can get expensive raising a child. So, your contribution is needed and it’s your responsibility to help out. It’s important that you communicate with the mother of your child about what the child needs and just like with time, consistency is the key. Give whatever you can, every little bit helps.
Also, you should attempt to avoid the child support system at all cost. Using a third party to help you with your issues will ultimately convolute the situation even more. Ultimately, unless you’re not in your right state of mind, there’s no reason you shouldn’t make an effort to be in your child’s life. Don’t let money deter you from being around at all. Make an honest effort to provide whatever you can financially but at the end of the day, it doesn’t cost you anything to love your children and be there for them.