Once you become a parent you quickly realize one thing…. they don’t come with an instruction manual. So, what do you refer to when it comes time to set the ground rules for how you want them to behave? Do you use the template your parents used raising you? Do you know someone else with kids that does things in a manner in which you agree with and you want to copy that formula?
Regardless of what kind of resources you use, discipline and structure are extremely important when it comes to raising children. This process should actually start before the baby arrives. You and your partner should have a detailed conversation about not only what disciplinary methods you should use but also the type of moral compass that will be used in the house. All too often, we have children then decide to have these difficult conversations.
Now, it’s never too late to get on the same page but if you spend any time parenting from different perspectives it could have a negative effect on your child. Obviously, you won’t agree on everything, but a middle ground needs to be created. Doing this makes things easier when it’s time to discipline your child. For example, if you’re dealing with a small child that won’t listen to the instructions you give the first thing you should do is refer to what you and your partner agreed upon when situations like these arise. That way you have somewhat of a blueprint to work with.
Even if you’re a single parent, the process will be the same. You still must establish a structure and determine what type of discipline you want to enforce. The key to creating an obedient child is being consistent with the rules and regulations that you establish in your home. A part of that consistent behavior also includes creating a punishment mechanism that’s effective and fits the personality of the child.
In the Black community, many of us were raised believing physical punishment was the most effective way to get your point across but that’s not necessarily true. Sometimes, Basing the punishment you hand out on what the child actually did wrong and what your child enjoys doing the most can be a good start. Either way, you must be stern for the punishment you choose to be effective. So, if you are a parent that has not established anything we have spoken about so far. Now you know where to start.