In a perfect world, the ethnicity of the person you decide to be in a relationship with should not matter. Unfortunately, in this country, it is not that simple. Our cultural differences, which can be used as teachable moments and opportunities to learn more about someone else’s background rarely are used in that light. Instead, we judge people based on those differences and come up with unfounded conclusions that are usually false. Sometimes we forget that this country was built on racism, prejudice, and different forms of bigotry. So, it is only logical that if these feelings go unchecked, there likely to seep into our personal relationships.
So, while I do not see anything wrong with interracial relationships it is important that we do not ignore the elephant in the room. if you are a Melanated man or woman that decides to be in a relationship with someone outside of your race, there are specific conversations that need to take place. Based on several decades of racism and systematic disenfranchisement by the government towards people of African descent, some races of people in this country have adopted a negative ideology about Melanated people. So, to combat this way of thinking and ensure our children have the right mentality it is important to begin having these talks with them as soon as possible. What we do not want, is our children internalizing that hatred and began thinking less of themselves.
Having ongoing conversations about remaining prideful of yourself and your culture as well as learning the detailed history of Melanated people is a good place to start. For example, if you find out your teenage son has a white girlfriend, you should not be alarmed if you have had the conversation with him about who he is. The fact of the matter is this; America has a lot of white people who are either openly or covertly racist towards melanated people or completely indifferent towards us altogether. In my opinion, attempting to be in a meaningful relationship with someone with this mentality is a complete waste of time. Now granted, all white people are not racist but how will you know if you do not have the conversation? We must also remain cognizant of the fact that in America, there has been a long-standing love-hate relationship with people of African descent. Just because a white person may love to watch Steph Curry shoot a basketball does not mean they want him over for dinner…. get it?
This same level of cognitive dissidents can be found in intimate relationships as well. Just because someone has sex with you, does not mean they accept everything that comes with who you are and what you represent. Entering an interracial relationship, when you have the proper knowledge, can be advantageous for everyone involved. Learning and understanding another person’s culture help create the necessary perspective that we all need to have healthy relationships with people of other ethnic backgrounds.